Where did you grow up, and what shaped who you are today?
I grew up outside of Philadelphia.
Grit, resilience, love, faith, and family were instilled in me.
Today, I still keep those characteristics, and I am much softer now in mind, body, and spirit. I am closer to God and have a relationship with Him now. I know, too, that He saved me from alcohol, not myself.
What was your life like before you got sober?
Chaotic, dangerous blackouts. Lost thousands of dollars, lost jobs, got fired. Hell on earth, chaotic relationships, toxic friendships, nights I don’t remember.
When did you first realize you had a problem, and what finally led you to seek help?
I first realized I had a problem after a night at the bar when I drank too much and woke up in a hallway covered in vomit with two security guards standing over me. I don’t know how I got there or what happened. I just remember being asked to go to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. However, I didn’t stop drinking after that.
What led me to get help was everyone disappearing from my life, including family members who told me they wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
How did you get sober?
I surrendered my life to God on 9/18/13 by throwing my hands up in the air and asking Him to save me. He told me to research how to get sober on my own. I found an article about a guy who got sober through CrossFit. I booked a spot the next day. I walked in and told the guy at the desk I was 48 hours sober and might vomit and collapse on the floor. He looked up from the computer he was typing on, smiled, and said, “Welcome in. I’m Tim, and I’ll be doing your evaluation today. I’ve been sober for five years myself. Come on into the gym.” I’ve been sober ever since.
What do you consider your sobriety date? Have you experienced any relapses, and what does maintaining your recovery look like day-to-day now?
I relapsed after 90 days and went on a two-year bender after a breakup. 9/18/2013 is my official sobriety date. Day to day, sobriety looks like being of service to God, my husband, my children, my executive male sobriety coaching clients, and anyone else I speak to. I pray every day and read Scripture.
What has surprised you most about recovery?
The amount of people who message me their sobriety date always surprises me — like, why me? Oh wait, I prayed for this!
Who are the most important people in your recovery journey?
Jesus, my husband (20 years sober), my children, my late grandfather (60 years sober), and my dad (41 years sober).
What have you accomplished in sobriety that wouldn’t have been possible before, and how do you feel about your life today?
I got married and had babies. All I ever wanted in life was love, and I just so happened to move to Texas from Pennsylvania in 2015 to find it. I didn’t think I would ever share my story or become an executive sobriety coach. I didn’t think I’d be able to surrender control daily and give my life to God.
Today, my life is a miracle. I get to help people out of the trenches I once lived in and raise two beautiful humans to make this world a better place. I feel humbled and blessed to be alive by the grace of God.
What advice would you give someone starting this journey to recovery?
If I could distill it down to what actually helps, not what sounds good on a quote card, I’d say this:
Start with honesty, not perfection. You don’t need a lifelong commitment today. You need the courage to tell the truth about what alcohol, or the behavior, is really costing you. Recovery begins the moment you stop negotiating with reality.
Focus on regulation before willpower. Most people don’t relapse because they “don’t want it enough.” They relapse because their nervous system is overwhelmed. Learn how to calm your body first: sleep, nourishment, breath, movement, then make decisions. A regulated system makes aligned choices.
Detach your identity from your coping mechanism. You are not weak, broken, or flawed because you used something to survive. At one point, it worked. Recovery is simply choosing a new strategy that fits the life you’re building now.
Shrink the timeline. Don’t ask, “Can I do this forever?” Ask, “What would support me staying sober today?” Recovery is won in 24-hour increments, not grand declarations.
Get proximity to people who live the way you want to live. Not people who scare you straight. Not people who keep you stuck in shame. People who are grounded, honest, emotionally mature, and living full lives sober. Borrow their nervous systems until yours stabilizes.
Expect grief and don’t confuse it with failure. You may grieve alcohol, your old identity, old friendships, or the version of success you chased. That grief doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing something real.
Make this about expansion, not restriction. Sobriety isn’t about what you’re giving up. It’s about what finally becomes possible when you’re fully present, regulated, and self-trusting.
If I had to say it in one line: Recovery works when it stops being about “fixing yourself” and starts being about coming home to yourself.
