Kim Bellas
4,910 days sober
Openly Sober recently connected with Kim Bellas for a written interview about their journey to long-term sobriety. You can find them at https://www.threads.com/@sober.is.the.new.cool.
Where did you grow up and what shaped who you are today?
Kim: I grew up in Montreal, Canada, and what shaped who I am today was becoming a mother. When my son Matthew was diagnosed with epilepsy, our world changed overnight. As parents, we spend our lives trying to protect our children, and suddenly there were things I couldn't fix.
I decided to stop drinking for three months. At the time, it felt like a small decision. What I couldn't have known was that, more than thirteen years later, that one decision would change the entire direction of my life. What began as a mother's promise became the foundation for everything that followed.
What was your life like before you got sober?
Kim: Before I stopped drinking, I was a busy stay-at-home mom raising my children in the 1990s. Back then, alcohol was simply part of life. It was at celebrations, vacations, family gatherings, and dinners with friends. Nobody really questioned it because it was what everyone did.
I wasn't searching for sobriety. I wasn't searching for a new life. I was simply living the life I knew. Looking back, I didn't realize how much more was possible.
When did you first realize you had a problem, and what finally led you to seek help?
Kim: I never thought I had a drinking problem. What I discovered was that one decision opened the door to a life I never knew existed. I gave up alcohol for one reason, but found countless reasons to never go back.
How did you get sober?
Kim: I think one of the reasons I was successful is because I wasn't focused on myself. I was focused on someone I loved.
As the months passed, I began noticing changes I hadn't expected. I felt better. I had more energy. More patience. More appreciation for the little things.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped focusing on what I had given up and started paying attention to everything I was gaining. Wellness. Growth. Connection. Purpose.
What started as three months slowly became a way of life.
What is your sobriety date, and have you had any relapses or setbacks along the way? If so, what did you learn from it?
Kim: My sobriety date is January 12, 2013. I have never had a relapse.
What I have learned is that small decisions matter. We often think our lives change because of one big moment. I believe they change because of the small choices we make every day.
What does maintaining your recovery look like day-to-day now?
Kim: For me, recovery is about connection. Most mornings, I'm awake before 5 a.m., connecting with people from the UK and other parts of the world. My days are spent answering messages, introducing people to one another, and helping people find support, friendships, and resources.
What started as a decision years ago has become a life centered around helping others. Recovery isn't something I think about every day anymore. What I think about are people — the conversations, the connections, and the opportunity to make someone's day a little brighter.
What has surprised you most about recovery?
Kim: The friendships, the laughter, and the "me too" moments. I never imagined that one decision would introduce me to so many incredible people from around the world. Over the years, I have watched complete strangers become lifelong friends, connected by honest conversations and shared experiences.
More than anything, recovery has shown me that when people come together with open hearts, beautiful things can happen.
Who are the most important people in your recovery journey?
Kim: My sons will always be the most important people in my story, especially Matthew. Beyond that, I continue to be amazed by the people I meet. Out of the 8 billion people in the world, I somehow seem to cross paths with the best of the best—people who are making a difference, changing lives, lifting others up, and leaving the world better than they found it. Many lovingly call me "Kim Mummy," and I smile every time I hear it.
What have you accomplished in sobriety that wouldn't have been possible before, and how do you feel about your life today?
Kim: If you had told me thirteen years ago that one decision would lead to friendships around the world, I never would have believed you. Today, through Sober is the New Cool, I have had the privilege of connecting people across countries, cultures, and backgrounds.
I've watched strangers become friends. I've watched people support one another through some of life's most difficult moments. I've watched tiny white hearts travel around the world carrying one simple message: "I'm glad you exist." I've seen women arrive at events knowing no one in the room and leave feeling connected to something much bigger than themselves.
None of this was part of the plan. Every bit of it has been a gift. At 65 years old, I wake up excited about what is still possible because I know there are still people I haven't met, stories I haven't heard, and hearts we haven't reached yet.
What advice would you give someone starting this journey to recovery?
Kim: Be open to the possibility that what feels difficult today may become one of the greatest gifts of your life. You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't need to focus on forever. Just focus on today.
One decision can change the direction of your life. I know, because it changed mine. I gave up alcohol for one reason. I found countless reasons to never go back.
